In my opinion, in the area of mental health, we talk too much about disorders and not enough about recovery and freedom.
In 1952, the first Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) had 32 pages. Today, DSM V has 1120 pages. What do we do with all these disorders? We have a disorder for everything and everyone.
I have news for you – I worked in the area of mental health for over 33 years, and I never worked with anyone disordered.
My husband and I founded Marino Therapy Centre, specialising in helping people recover from eating distress/eating disorders (ED), in 1991.
The more we listened to people’s challenges, the more we noticed that people are not disordered. The people we worked with were experiencing emotional distress that was consuming them.
Language
From our personal and professional experiences working with people experiencing disordered eating, we have learned that the language we use is very important.
Words can heal, help, and connect us, but they can also hurt and cause considerable harm.
As Ludwig Wittgenstein said: “The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.”
Such a powerful quote.
If we want to help people recover from ED, our language needs to change.
In Ireland, we often use the language of fear instead of the language of hope.
When we are encouraged in society to talk and express ourselves, it is very helpful to focus not just on what we are saying, but also on how we are saying it. The words we choose to use and the meaning we attach to them will make a significant difference in a person’s recovery process.
Disordered eating is a symptom showing us that a person is experiencing distress that is consuming them, eating them. The behaviour around food is just a symptom and information. It is not the problem but a solution to an underlying issue.
Behaviours are just the tip of the iceberg
The Titanic did not sink because of what they saw; it sank because of what they didn’t see lying underneath.
The term “Eating Disorder” in the DSM V describes a person’s behaviour and weight. When we just focus on a person’s behaviour and their weight, it is very limiting to the recovery process.
Most people can and often do experience many different types of behaviours during their distress around food and their body. Even if the behaviours change, the pattern of thinking about themselves and their lives often remains the same.
In our current society, we speak about and focus on disorders and behaviours quite a bit. We need to make sure these labels do not become a person’s identity. When you or your loved one is experiencing eating distress or “disordered eating,” it is important to understand that you/they are not their behaviours. The behaviours are information.
In our experience working with people who are freeing themselves from ED, we see that focusing on someone’s weight is not recovery; it is just focusing on a number describing a person’s physicality, not their emotional and psychological well-being.
Experience shows that focusing on a person’s weight can also increase and deepen their distress around food and their body.
Shifting the focus
I find it very sad that, in these times, people go to places for ten-minute consultations where their weight is checked and their medication is increased or changed.
And we call this therapy? In my experience, this is harmful. It shows very little understanding of recovery. Often, people just get another label, another disorder, and very few guidelines.
A few years ago, while attending an international conference on eating disorders, some top experts in the area agreed that the description in the DSM is limited and that only about 20% of people fit into these eating disorder criteria. We are overusing the word “disorder.”
We believe it would be more helpful if we shifted the focus to understanding a person’s distress and recovery a little more.
The main reason why we use the term ‘eating distress’ instead of ‘eating disorder’ is to help people understand themselves and their distress. When we address the distress that is consuming the person, their behaviours are easier to let go of, and they can learn new, more beneficial coping mechanisms. Monitoring the language and the way we think and speak is a very important part of recovery.
Recovery from ED is all about learning and understanding. It is about learning a new way of thinking, a new way of seeing things. It is about learning a new language, and this new language will help us understand our emotions.
We live in a society driven by drug companies’ profits instead of a willingness to learn to understand life.
Experiencing different emotions is not a disorder; experiencing different emotions is valuable information. This information is our guide in our life. Recovery is a discovery of who we are, discovering our place in this world.
I do not want to use this precious space to complain about the past and what was or still is happening in this area.
However, I do think that the past is important for learning, and we need to learn more and faster if we want to help people experience emotional freedom instead of just getting another disorder.
In 1998, I wrote a book called Hope, and hope has always been a driving force in my life. As a young student in Czechoslovakia, we fought against communism, and it became a story of Hope and Freedom.
Today, in the Western world, we need to challenge and question the drug companies and lack of understanding, and yes, history teaches us that there is hope.
I have a lot of hope for the future, especially seeing now different brave and courageous people expressing what changes we need.
Calling out the BS
My recovered daughter has become my colleague now as well. Her podcast is called Calling It Out, and we started a Substack with the same name. We would like to call out the BS. The BS is the bullshit we are told or the belief system that is pushed on us – you choose.
I will share with you a few of the BS things we need to change:
- Human experiences are not disorders; they are coping mechanisms.
- Mental freedom can be learned, and everyone deserves it.
- Recovery is a skill; it doesn’t come from a pill.
- Recovery is healing, and everyone deserves it.
- Emotional pain is real and can be temporary and it will pass.
- We need to stop medicating, especially children – they deserve more.
- It’s time to bring more life and hope to people’s recovery journeys.
- It’s time to ask questions: Do we train people in diagnostics or recovery?
- It’s time to bring humour and vitality to mental health.
When we start to understand and address emotional distress more, the behaviours will be easier to let go of.
Monitoring our language and learning the language of self-support will allow our emotional freedom to grow.